Damn confusing!

I m confused!!I dunno why should i be confuse,but i m confuse now!!
I wanna leave this world without no reason!
I wanna leave this life without a single tear!
I wanna leave this situation without argument in the heart!
Now, my heart, mind and soul are full of confusion, full of hatred!
Not hating anyone else but myself!
I hate to be in the middle!
I hate to be kind!
I hate to be bad!
I hate to be judged!
I hate to think of things that I shouldn't be thinking!!

GOSH!!Damn it!!
What m i doing here?
Thinking nonsense?!
Should I just leave?
Should I just be selfish for this only time?
Should I be frank to people?

I do not want to hurt anyone but my reaction is making people hate me~!
I wanna keep all to myself but I wish I could!
I wanna cry all out from my heart!!

What can I do actually?!!
Someone please tell me!!